Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in everyroad2you's LiveJournal:

Monday, January 29th, 2007
5:39 pm	Courtesy of the book im currently reading: "Why Girls Are Weird" You love someone.... And it is the hardest and most rewarding thing you've ever done. You ache with love. You cry sometimes, because you know two things: You know that you've never felt this good before. You also know that this couldn't possibly last forever. You want it to. You want it frozen. You want to stop time, right there, as she hands you your toothbrush or as he pulls you back from the curb of the street for one last kiss goodbye. You want to be able to pull them closer than the hug, into your body so you can keep the smell of them inside you, next to you, all around you. You love someone and it hurts. You love someone and it's very, very good. Not only do you feel better about yourself, you feel better about people, life, animals, and the color orange. You find yourself doing ridiculous things. You clean under the bookcase for her even though she probably wont see under there. Just in case. You could end up in a passionate embrace by the CD player and she'll pull you down to the ground and you will know it'll be perfect if you die right there with her. It will be clean. It will be clean for her. Current Mood: grateful (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 16th, 2007
4:13 pm	"GRACE KELLY"- Mika (I want to talk to you. The last time we talked, Mr. Smith, you reduced me to tears. I promise you it won’t happen again.) Do I attract you? Do I repulse you with my queasy smile? Am I too dirty, am I too flirty, do I like what you like? Yea I could be wholesome, I could be loathsome, ‘just I’m a little bit shy… Why don’t you like me, why don’t you like me without making me try? I try to be like Grace Kelly, but all her looks were too sad. So then I try a little Freddie…I’ve gone identity mad. I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky, I could be hurtful, I could be purple, I could be anything you like. Gotta be green, gotta be mean, gotta be everything more.. Why don’t you like me, why don’t you like me? Why don’t you walk out the door! (Getting angry doesn’t solve anything.) ~*i LOVE this song!! How can I help it, how can I help it, how can I help what you think? Hello my baby, hello my baby, putting my life on my brink. Why don’t you like me, why don’t you like me, why don’t you like yourself? Should I bend over, should I look older just to be put on the shelf? I try to be like Grace Kelly, but all her looks were too sad. So then I try a little Freddie…I’ve gone identity mad! I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky, I could be hurtful, I could be purple, I could be anything you like. Gotta be green, gotta be mean, gotta be everything more.. Why don’t you like me, why don’t you like me? ..walk out the door.. Say what you want to satisfy yourself, but you only want what everybody else says you should want… you want.. I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky, I could be hurtful, I could be purple, I could be anything you like. Gotta be green, gotta be mean, gotta be everything more.. Why don’t you like me, why don’t you like me? ..walk out the door! I could be brown, I could be blue, I could be violet sky, I could be hurtful, I could be purple, I could be anything you like. Gotta be green, gotta be mean, gotta be everything more.. Why dont you like me, why dont you like me? ..walk out the door! (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 7th, 2006
8:26 am	"Let the Rain Fall Down..." Previously on Laguna Beach- Coby finally proposed to Ashley. in a Jack in the Box Parking Lot. Brian "im the biggest game player in the world" Madsen announced to me that he hates when girls play games. The girl who said "i wont say im in love till least 6 months of dating" is in love, after 3 weeks. In the bathroom at Chili's I decided it would be fun to write a childrens book. Or become an Anthropologist. The boy who everyone thinks is so much fun, and happy is depressed. By his own admission and my own diagnosis. Its sad that he's putting on this happy face/personality for everyone. Ethan called me the other day to tell me he had to pull a card at school because Desmond in his class said Santa isnt real, and he started yelling at her that he is real. I gave him some back up and told my sister to punish him with brownies, cookies, and video games. My Christmas tree's little, so i tell everyone it has Polio. The dog keeps eating my clothes. But he's losing weight. Conclusion- i should start eating my clothes. I still dont know what the opposite of Foreshadownig is. Playing a drum set is not easy. I should know, theres one in my living room. We decided we want a pool table, but dont want it out where just anyone can use it. But we cant keep it in a bedroom, so we're gonna need a giant invisibility cloak. Andrew asked if i got to England to get one i must bring back Hermione. If i wear black nail polish i wont bite my nails. If i wear black nail polish people give me looks. My eyelids been twitching on and off for about 2 weeks now. i think its doing morse code. something about an iceburg....or your mom.... Cue the Hilary Duff Music and cut to the shot of a bonfire--- 'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect Trying to fit a square into a circle Was no life I defy Let the rain fall down And wake my dreams Let it wash away My sanity 'Cause I wanna feel the thunder I wanna scream Let the rain fall down I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006
9:31 am	Because its about Hilariousness...and inner city kids The movie reviewer from my newspaper had this to say about the "Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny movie": "...Kyle Glass and Jack Black are like a pair of midgets who show up at an inner-city pickup basketball game and start bragging about their jump shots. One feels pity, and perhaps a touch of admiration." Midgets,Jump Shots, and Inner-City all in one sentence. BRAVO!!!! (Comment on this)
Monday, October 30th, 2006
12:22 pm	Why is it when i say "somethings wrong with my plumbing" it makes me feel like im talking about my baby making parts?! its proving to be quite a challenging day today. Or at least the 6 hours i've been up for have been that way. First my car starts overheating, which is odd when its like 55 degrees out at 6am. Then i come home and clean the kitchen, but everytime i turn off the water there's this weird vibration/rumbling by the stove. or at least i think there is. i cant turn off the water and be next to the stove at the same time to hear it. Then i spend about 30 minutes with andrew trying to decide if the halloween costume we've had for 4738921705 years is a dragon or an alligator. trust me, its an alligator. i know where the costume originated, and so i have the upper hand in knowing the truth. he still refuses to belive this. something about Trogdor the man-dragon. then i have this "here's your sign/dont be retarded" converstaion- "how come you didnt go to the corn maize on Friday, it was fun." "mostly i didnt go because i wasnt invited...." "oh. you should have told me, i would have invited you." Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhhh. I should have called you to get invited to an activity that i didnt even know was going on. Thats your style, not mine. So since the plumbing could be going out an any second (cause thats how things roll around here) im using as much water as i can. i've already done 2 loads of laundry, run the dishwasher, cleaned the bathrooms, and im thinking about washing my car. I suppose i could go all Little House on the Prairie and conserve it, or bottle it or something, but really, do i LOOK like Laura Ingles?? Now i have to go into town and get me some fixins. Translation, im going to the grocery store. (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 28th, 2006
8:23 am	Andrew: "Everyone in band thinks your crazy cause you drive 2 hours to watch us play a 9 minute performance." Me:"Those people obviously dont have any love in their lives." Never underestimate my love for antz, marching band, Mr. Duplessis, songs from Batman, or the chance to jump at any oportunity to go a road trip- which in my house refer to as "going on tour". The Tour's hitting Tucson today! High of 85/54 for the Low; Mostly Cloudy. (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 22nd, 2006
8:53 pm	Dont flipping call Andrew a sissy and then be like "it was a simple joke". What part of that is funny?! Must be a problem with my personality if i dont think calling my 17 year old brother a sissy is funny in ANY way. Thats right, once again its allllll MY fault for taking it the wrong way. What other way would you take: "How come Andrew didnt come play football?" "He had a band festival." "Yeah right, he didnt go cause he's a sissy. hahahahahaha" Maybe i am too overprotective, and over reacting, but thats MEAN. And then dont be like "Is he a sissy? then thats all that matters. you know hes not, i know hes not, it was ment as a joke and nothing else" Oh. Sorry. I guess andrew and i didnt find it as funny as you all did. flipping Madsens. but for once its not brian. what a refreshing change. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 9th, 2006
11:05 am	DUDE. I miss my mom. THE END. (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 5th, 2006
8:21 am	Write fifteen statements, intended for different people. Never tell which one is to whom. Write things you've always wanted to tell people. You never know...you might be on this list 1. Go home. Its time for you to just GO HOME. 2. Your as important to me as my eyelids are, even if i dont tell you that. 3. Our friendship is great, and i would never want to ruin it. So why do i keep thinking about that? 4. Im never going to be good enough for you, and im never going to quit trying. 5. You keep telling me that you'll help me, and that your there for me. But where are you??? 6. Just because i tell you something, doesnt mean you need to turn around and tell everyone. 7. Maybe you'd have more friends if you quit trying to ruin everyones life. 8. Everytime you talk about how you cant wait to leave, it feels like your saying you cant wait to leave me. 9. I just miss you so much that sometimes it hurts to breath. 10. Dont worry, i wont let anything happen to you. Ever. 11. Your great, but i'll never take you seriously. 12. I used to tell you everything, and i miss that. 13. I know we're at different places in our lives, but why havnt you called me? 14. I like telling you stories that i know make you jealous, even if you wont admit it. 15. Your so close to being family i almost made you your own house key. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 29th, 2006
8:29 am	Just so everyone knows, my mom passed away last night (friday July 28th) at about 11:00pm. Thanks for everyone's prayers and thoughts they've been sending this way for the past 7 months. Keep them coming. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 17th, 2006
11:12 pm	If I had to make a list of the people I hate, it would be pages long. Thats pages with an S. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 14th, 2006
11:58 pm	1.) I love making lists 2.) My Doctor is trying to kill me. My Triglycerides/Coleserol are a little high, so he said i have 3 months to get them down "or else". So he gave me this list of foods i can and cant have. Im going to starve to death. 3.) I want to have Supermans baby. BAD. 4.) I only used 3 text messages yesterday. This is a new low for me. 5.) I am apparently the only person in the world who didnt think "The Ringer" was hilarious. Didnt laugh once. 6.) I want to be a pirate so bad it hurts. 7.) My room is messier then its ever been. EVER. 8.) Im suppose to go to a baseball game tomorrow, but really just dont want to. I have no desire to hang out with people. 9.) Hospice is saving my sanity 10.) I realized i genuienly cared for Andrew Davis back in Jr. High/High School. I would have done anything for him to be happy. And now he is. 11.) Ashley Parker Angel has the most flowing name i've ever heard. 12.) People who ask "what are you doing here" when your at the movie theatre should be shot. I didnt come for the petting zoo.... 13.) I need to get my oil changed. 14.) The first guy who i ever kissed is engaged. And part of me is thinking "if you would have just given him a chance that might be you". But then i remember that i never really liked him like that. 15.) I've never opened up the access door to the attic thats in my ceiling. There is a very good chance it could lead to Narnia. Or to the attic. Thats about all. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 10th, 2006
11:34 pm	Summer=Wedding season. I have 3 weddings to go to in the next 2 weeks. Oh yea. im thrilled. this is my thrilled face, cant you tell??? This is what im doing this week if anyone wants to come along: Monday- Hospisc is coming to give us a rundown on how to better prepare for dying. Tuesday- im not sure, but i think i'll be crying. Yea. Wed- Oh right. Wed seems like a good day to go out looking for burial plots and picking out caskets, so i'll be doing that. Thursday-Sunday- Im gonna be super busy having a mental breakdown when do you get to that point of enough is enough (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 8th, 2006
11:16 pm	"I was like, you wanna get a girl, you gotta watch, and love that movie" Not that i dont think the boys of Good Charlotte are great song writers. And its not that "Rubberband Man" and "Mr.Mom" arn't great songs, but im glad that today Brian and I picked a new song to be "our song". Finally a song that doesnt mention pimpin, hoes, Barney, or A hood rat who needs an attitude adjustment. ♥ What I've Been Looking For (From High School Musical) It's hard to believe That I couldn't see You were always there beside me Thought I was alone With no one to hold But you were always right beside me And this feelings like no other I want you to know I've never had someone that knows me like you do the way you do I've never had someone as good for me as you no one like you so lonely before I finally found what i've been looking for So good to be seen So good to be heard Don't have to say a word For so long I was lost So good to be found I'm loving having you around This feeling's like no other I want you to know I've never had someone that knows me like you do The way you do I've never had someone as good for me as you No one like you So lonely before, I finally found what I've been looking for Doo Doo DooDoo Doo Doo DooDoo Do Do Woa-ah-ah-oh Doo Doo DooDoo Doo Doo DooDoo Do Do Woa-ah-ah-oh The Doo doo doo's and Woa-ah-ah-ohs are not optional. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
9:32 pm	"Its hard to believe, that i couldnt sneeze" Remember that part in The Village where the girl, Ivy stands with her hand out, and Joaquin Phoenix runs by and grabs her, and then later he's all "What good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come from my saying that I sometimes cannot think clearly or do my work properly? What gain can rise of my telling you the only time I feel fear as others do is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy Walker. I fear for your safety before all others. And yes, I will dance with you on our wedding night." Yea. Thats the best part. And in other news, i cant stop watching/listening/thinking about High School Musical. It is just my style. Dear Bree- quit breaking our high school musical dates! <3, Jess New rule= From now on Rachael and I will only date boys who can Pop and Lock and Jam. Any appeal to this rule must be submitted in writing along with a viable explaination as to why the alleged suitor is excused from this amendment. Its got to be added to our rules. Rule number one: Never date a hooker. And by hooker i dont mean "hooker". I mean someone who's a complete Chester/Man Whore. and I know what your thinking, but Noooooooooo. im NOT breaking my own rule. He and i arnt dating, we're just friends who want to make out, but dont. Because then i'd be a hooker. Which leads us to rule two. Rule number two: Dont become a hooker. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
11:32 am	He broke my heart, i broke his spirit. We're even. Yesterday was WEIRD. "So this is what its like to have things work out...." I went on a DATE. With a BOY who was NOT a Madsen! It was good, but we're such good friends already that it didnt feel like a date. But my communication skills were top notch! And, although im still in that "Lets Make Out" mood, He's just a little too fresh and virginal for me to take advantage of. Lets at least wait till the 2nd date. THEN, i bbq'd. But i think i did it wrong because there were some FLAMES. BIG flames. But i didnt light anything on fire! And my food for 1 turned out great! NEXT, and ok, this is HUGE. After i bbq'd i texted brian to let him know that the grill we put together ourselves worked perfectly (minus the gigantic flames), and we texted back and forth a few messages, just friendly "how are you" stuff. Then later Jimmy called him to ask him something, and found out that Brian's grandpa had died. Not good b/c back when we had our argument, i believe i yelled something like "you dont know what its like to have someone close to you die". So i texted him telling him i was sorry about his grandpa, and then he texted back saying it was ok b/c he wasnt in pain anymore, and that he was in a better place. I texted back saying that i know that, but its still hard to lose someone you love, and that if he needed to talk, i was here. Then about an hour later, this is what i got: BRIAN-Can i tell u something? well im going to anyways. ever since me and you had our little argument, i just havnt felt the same. I need to say im sorry! i just havnt been myself since then. WOAH. Brian Madsen saying SORRY? and that since our fight, he hasnt been the same?!? Thats BIG. JESSICA-What can we do to make it better? Because I dont want you to have to go through this. Do we need to talk more? Im sorry too. I know i havnt been the same. Because lets face it, i havnt. Learning to live my life without him has been HARD. But im doing it. BRIAN- I dont know! i just really feel worthless tonight. I just kinda feel empty inside! is that how you feel? At this point i got really happy. which is mean, but im so glad that he's feeling how i've been feeling. JESSICA-Extremely empty. And definitly different, not myself. I dont like it. Are you home now? Come over. BRIAN- Yea, i was just getting ready for bed. I want to be happy again! Not this fake happy, but to be me again! JESSICA--So lets talk about it. Come over. I want to be normal again, and you need to be back to yourself. If we can fix this, and not have to feel this way for another day, then why not. And so he came over. He said that once he sent the first text apologizing he started to feel better. We both said that even though we handled our fight really well, by talking about it like adults that it didnt work. We both walked away still feeling mad at each other. But we couldnt have done anything differently. i told him im afraid to let him back in because he hurt me so badly, and i said i didnt really see the point of being friends anymore because it was all so bad. he said he was just tired of the drama, tired of everyone assuming things about us and getting involved, and just tired of how things were. i told him things wont ever be the same, but thats ok becuase they wernt really working out how they were. He said that for the past 3 weeks its been horrible, that he feels like he's doing everything right in his life, but that its not working, and he's not happy. I said how things felt really strained between us, and that i dont like that. He agreed. We talked about lots of stuff. His grandpa, Church, US, it was great. i never imagined that he would come to me saying that without me his life isnt the same, and that he misses me, and that since we've dissolved his life has been a mess. And we're better. Not perfect, but better. I hope he feels better. I feel better. Tired, but tired is easier to live with then unhappiness. Current Mood: pleased (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 27th, 2006
8:47 pm	Perfect didnt seem so Perfect 8 hour Laguna Beach marathon today. And now as a result all i want to do is make out with some boy. Thats the effect that show has on me. "Talan: I love you.. well, I don't love you.. I L-U-V you." But you know how it is. Sometimes you just get the urge to be kissed. "LC: I don't wanna marry Stephen. Lo: Why? He's cute, you'd have pretty babies. Jen: You would have pretty babies, your babies would be like the popular people at school. LC: That's sweet. " Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006
9:03 am	Im tired of people expecting me to do things You want me to pretend to fly, and im telling you now, im not a bird. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
9:35 pm	why does every little single thing seem to be extremely hard? it shouldnt be hard not to want to call someone, that person you've come to rely on when things get bad. why cant i just decide that i dont want to do something, and then not do it. but be proud, i didnt. and you know what? everyone else was just as good, if not better. I need a good book to read. And everyone on Scrubs is pregnant. What happened to Rowdy?!?! (Comment on this)
Friday, May 12th, 2006
1:54 pm	Lets Go, Times a Wastin Times a weird thing. It took me only about 7 minutes to delete every single journal entry i've ever made. Only took me about 3 seconds to decide to do it. Only took him 27 minutes to destroy me, scar my soul, break my heart, and leave me to pick up the pieces. So needless to say it took me only about 27 minutes to decide im sure its not worth fixing. Of course every other second i falter, and second guess my decisions. But then in that one second that im strong, i remember: "I'm sick and tired of you, and im sick and tired of the way you treat me" "I'll never need you like you need me" "You really dont have it all that bad compared to other people" (2 Comments |Comment on this)